You don’t check up on me anymore, I guess you’ve lost interest now that you’ve got what you really wanted right? I knew from the start you’re just one of them. So stupid of me. I’m done with all these, We don’t have to pretend no more, it’s not even a relationship, you’re too distant I’m thrown off by this all the time, I feel unwanted all the time. I’m not even worth messaging for?
#writingmyheartout
(Source: lovequotesrus)
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(via flairey)
(Source: colouredpaper, via ineedfortywinks)
I woke up to the sound of mom throwing up in the bathroom. It’s kinda alarming considering that she has always been healthy for so long and her being sick and all is just so unusual for me. I was still so sleepy and I continued sleeping until she woke me up asking for water for she couldn’t breathe. I asked her what’s wrong and she said she is having a vertigo, she couldn’t move and feels nauseous. I get her some water, panick rising in me. She sat upright and began sobbing as she says “don’t take me yet Lord I am not ready” over and over again. I began freaking out and called Dad upstairs who was taking care of my baby nephew. Dad hurriedly went to her side and patted her back comforted her and mom said she wanted to go to the hospital she must’ve felt really bad then. We called my sister from work and asked her to go back home and an hour or so she came and checked on mom, mom is okay by then she just needed some rest, so my sister took care of the baby instead of mom today.
All morning mom was like all so weak and told me to be a “good girl” always as she usually tells me and she said to take care of myself and it felt like she’s saying her last words and it felt uncomfortable, I knew she was just over reacting about all that, she was just stressed we all know that what she feels is just stress and nothing drastic that involves dying.
My sister is kinda upset because she has to work and her papers are accumulating in her desk, sitting there while she is home taking care of both mom and her son. I cannot blame her, she got a lot of pressure considering she is in the administrative position now. It’s kinda selfish of her telling us that she was drenched as she took the bus and shivering from the cold on her way home, she should’ve kept that comment to herself considering that our mom is in distress at the moment.
With all that happening in the morning, I cannot help but think what if mom actually feels something and today she would just you know… leave us. What would we do? I am surely not ready for that and I think that I would ever will. I was panicking when she was acting weird today and I admit I cried by her bedside and Dad too, it was such a dramatic and stressful moment and it’s a relief that she is okay now. We didn’t bring her to the hospital for my sister knows that it was just a side effect of her taking Robitussin with an empty stomach which is never good.
I cannot lose my mom, I know we argue most of the time but I love her all the same.
I’ve moved back to my parents for I know that they don’t have much time left, they’re growing frail and they need me more than ever, I cannot turn my back to them, I will forget all resentments and regrets and just let love take over.
(via thatmiserychick)
(Source: staypozitive, via jordan-mai)
